We were all set to get our dining room re-painted, when I received a call from the painter, Norm.
“I finished my last job early. Would it be all right if I started Monday, instead of Wednesday? I know you’re having people in on the weekend, and that way I’ll be out of your hair by Thursday. You can be all cleaned up and ready for your guests by Friday.”
For all you frustrated renovators, this is an actual conversation, not a fantasy.
Norm operates on a solid maxim: under-promise and over-deliver. This makes excellent business sense – but why? Dopamine – the neurotransmitter of reward & pleasure, Professor Wolfram Schultz from Cambridge University and David Rock in an article in Psychology Today, tell us.
When our expectations are met, we experience a slight increase in dopamine, but when our expectations are exceeded, we get a strong in increase in dopamine. Not only does it make us feel great, it kicks the brain onto the positive track, where we are curious, open and see endless possibilities. Like begets like.
The reverse is also true, and worse, it’s magnified on the downside. Unmet expectations generate a sharp drop in dopamine, which feels a lot like pain. Such as not getting that raise you were promised, or when your spouse fails to come through with an acknowledgement of your birthday or anniversary.
This can trigger a negative downward spiral in the brain. The deadly Ds: Disappointment Decreases Dopamine. It pushes us onto the negative track, in which we see fewer possibilities and take less action. Inertia takes over. We sulk and stay home. We become querulous, argumentative and see only the downside. We are not fun, creative or pleasant.
The solution? Be mindful of our expectations. Keep them in check, and figure out how to keep coming out ahead of them, even in small ways. Reach, but not too far. Seek out opportunities for novelty and unexpected rewards, and hold the expectation that things are always going to get a little bit better.
Last, but not least: deal with people like Norm.